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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Consuming Feelings

I decided fairly early on in life that I needed a career that would support the affluent lifestyle I had in mind.  For whatever reason I decidedly arbitrarily at 22 that by the time I was 30 I, on my own, would be contributing 100K to my household.  

I did not grow up in an affluent household, but I am privileged in that I had a stay at home Mom, an insanely fiscally responsible father, a car throughout my schooling, and my education provided for me.  I win the parent lottery.  My Dad was always adamant though that I have a job, which I did from the time I was 14, and that half of my income go into my savings account.  I am proud to say that since graduating in 2008 I haven't borrowed a dime from my Parents because in my first year at IBM I managed to squirrel away more than a third of the income I made while living in Boston.  

My upbringing has made me a bit of a personal finance nerd.  My friends call me to celebrate a good FICO score (Woohoo 830 Jo-Jo!!), ask me my opinion about 401K's, and tease me about a not very subtle obsession with Suze Orman.  So, it shocked me when I sat one Sunday morning, happily going through 4 years of bank statements when I realized I had almost tripled my income in a 3 year period and my savings was exactly where it was when I got laid off from IBM.  WTF was happening with my money?

I realized after chronicling some of my bigger purchases (laid off/unemployed time, professional Certification from Boston University, 2 trips to Europe, dozens of domestic trips, a car, a cross country move, and a sizable chunk of money into a Roth IRA) that the more money I made the more mindless I was, not about the big things, but about the little things:  movies, eating out, my God the clothes, eating out, drinking, did I mention eating out?

Yes, I had some big expenses, and yes I did do some responsible things with it (pay off a car, contribute 20% of income to 401K) but something did not feel right.   For as hard as I work at my profession it feels as though I soften the blow of what that job takes from me (time/relaxation) with stuff.  Consuming to fill the void.  

This year I spent 5000 dollars on clothes.  5000.  On clothes.  This is outrageous.  Outrageous.  I don't care how stressed I am at work, jeans should not be the thing that lowers my blood pressure, and how many skirts does one girl need?  5000 is the opposite of moderation, its just excess.  

I wish I knew how to break this shopping habit, but sadly I think the only way to end up enjoying moderate surprises from time to time is going to be to go cold turkey on shopping for a few months and see if I can instill some new habits.  

Let's see shall we?  What do you spend on that disgusts you? How did you level it out?

3 comments:

  1. Ha! I had the same earnings goal for myself. :) I hit it, but my next problem is, I don't know what my NEXT goal is. I'm wandering aimlessly. I digress -

    I think my biggest spending flaw is actually clothes too - particularly of the lululemon kind. However, their colors have been "meh" to me lately, and the material has seemed to go down in quality so it's been less of a problem these days. I would even it out by selling the stuff I like less on ebay.

    I do also spend a lot on food since I try to eat mostly organic, but that's kind of a non negotiable since I mortally fear getting cancer from pesticides and GMO corn.

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  2. I buy Red Bull, chocolate, movies, video games, and books. Not even close to $5K a year for that stuff. At that threshold, it's child care, car payments, and mortgage.

    I say the same as my comment I made yesterday: all things in moderation.

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  3. I WISH I had 5000 dollars to spend on clothes! AHHHH! That would be my dream come true!

    Ahem....not helping you at all right now.

    I eat out a lot. I tend not to think about it and then when I do I cringe a little bit inside and vow to be good. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't!

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