Being Bold: The Handsome Man

Wednesday nights are residence to the sheer awesomeness that is the 80's Rock band the Spazmatics in Austin TX.  My friend Jo and I had planned to go and spend one of her final nights in town getting our dance on.  

Then Girls' Night was hijacked by a guy I had introduced her to a few days before, and I suddenly found myself a third wheel on what would have been a pretty great date if I hadn't been there.  Not one to be fazed I serenaded the pair of them with my rendition of Young MC's Bust a Move and slipped off more times than necessity dictated to the ladies room.  I was totally A-Okay with my role as chaperone and third wheel until I saw this guy I had gone out on approximately 3 dates with at the bar.  A guy who I made a total jackass of myself in front of, a guy who I liked until it became clear he was a bit of a player.  I mean the guy at one point announced that he like to hit it and quit it.  Who the hell says that outside of rap video?  Anyway, the sight of him ruined my calm collected self and for all extensive purposes I had a mini-self confidence melt down in my head.  

Then I remembered that not five minutes before I had been complimented on my legs, and I chose vodka over discomfort.

It was on my second drink, which could have gone one of two ways-embracing moderation or get shit-ripped.  I decided to embrace moderation and not to feel bad about myself because some notorious flirt and I didn't work out.  I marched over to my friend Jo and her date and made polite conversation until this guy standing in front of us caught my eye.  

This guy was Handsome with a capital H.  No, Dude was beyond handsome.  Dude was hot, and dude turned and looked at me…and I winked.  

I winked, like some 40's maven in a Russian Spy Thriller.  In that moment I loved myself, a self that could wink and be confident and pretty and not care about some guy who didn't value me-and I walked right up to the Handsome Man and introduced myself.

Handsome Man was incredibly nice, in town on business, a marathoner, a PhD, and funny.  We talked until the band stopped playing, at which point Jo came over and siphoned me away-but before she could grab me away I looked at him and thanked him for his conversation--and told him he was crazy handsome.  

He laughed, leaned in and told me that he couldn't believe he had had such a good conversation with a pretty girl in a bar-that he was floored by how smart and funny I was-but more importantly what a kind person I seemed to be.  He showed up later in the evening at the bar I wound up at, and walked me home where we spent another hour on my stoop talking about medical trials he was working on (Yep, I'm cool-I know how to go in for the kill) before he asked me on a date for the next day before his flight.

Nothing will ever come of it, but that night something as simple as making a real connection and having a real conversation my faith was restored.  Whether it was in myself or in random men at the bar, I can't say.  But either way-I felt bold, excited about leaving my comfort zone, and thrilled that I let myself shine through without going over the top-the real goal of moderation.

Wink.